Big (Bell) Bottoms

The last time I wore bell bottoms was in 6th grade. I remember this for a few reasons…

1) Limited Too was like omg-lmao-wwjd-lylas the coolest place to shop, and I only got to buy things from there once in a blue moon. Which means when I got the black, corduroy, zipper-pocketed bell bottoms I’d been begging for, they became my prize possession.

2) 6th grade was the last year I didn’t have to wear a uniform to school. Hence why my last memory of any sort of adolescent “fashion” was black corduroy bell bottoms.

3) One of the most popular (read: richest) girl’s in my class shopped at Limited Too exclusively, and she also owned these coveted pants. She also was some sort of magic being who never went through that pot-bellied/glasses/braces/bangs adolescent awkward phase, so needless to say…she wore them better than me. To put it in perspective…if the Fashion Police were to do a retrospective, non-celebrity edition of Bitch Stole My Look, they would feature me and this other girl in our sweet bell bottoms and then Joan would make some joke about how I should have been homeschooled to prevent having to ever be seen in public.

4) This same girl also told me my butt looked big in said pants. What, Miss Mean Rich Skinny 6th Grader? Are you jealous of how my rotund 11 year old body fills out these super tight pants? Yes? Oh ok, I feel less traumatized now.

So, I dedicate this post to all other kids who tried to unsuccessfully rock bell bottoms in the late 90s. I know you flinch and cringe, and maybe even start to cry a little when you remember those attempts at “fashion.” Hopefully we have all transitioned nicely out of our awkward stages and look like semi-presentable twentysomethings these days, and hopefully we have the bodies and self-confidence to allow ourselves to once again attempt this trend. Here’s to hoping our attempts look more like these photos below and less like that picture of 6th grade you that is now haunting your every thought.

Image via Apartment 34

Image via Cupcakes and Cashmere

Image via What I Wore

Image via Garance Dore

Image via Kendi Everyday

Image via The Sartorialist

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