It’s not really thaaat uncommon for dogs to poop blood.

Disclaimer: Do not read this story if you are eating or have a weak stomach. I will try to be as tactful as possible, but it’s just gross no matter how you say it.

Standing under the harsh glare of the florescent lights, I stroked my puppy’s head and blinked a couple times in disbelief at the words I was hearing. “It’s not really thaaat uncommon for dogs to poop blood.”

Seriously??

$170 later and an evening at the emergency pet clinic, and that’s what I learned.

Todd and I walked into my apartment after work last night, arms full of the cheese, sausage, bread, and wine we had just picked up at the grocery store. It had been a long day, and all we wanted was to eat some simple, delicious food and relax. Yeah, right. The minute the door opened, we could smell it. Oh no. Did Lexie not hold it all day? That’s the understatement of the year. Upon opening the bathroom door (where Lexie chillax’s all day while I’m at work), we were knocked over by the stench and realized something was very wrong. Not only was there a huge, really not ok mess (use your imagination), but there was blood. A lot of it.

We clicked into emergency mode (actually kind of cool to see us come together like we did, but that’s another post), Todd taking the pup outside while I called the emergency pet hotline. They recommended I bring her in, since it could be something serious. No duh…my puppy is pooing blood. This is obviously not ok.

We rush her to the clinic and sit anxiously in the waiting room. Lexie is more hyper than I have ever seen her, like berserk-a-dog. When we finally get back to see the vet, she has calmed down and seems completely fine. Which as it turns out…she was completely fine.

“It’s not really thaaat uncommon for dogs to poop blood.”

Yeah, well, tell that to a worried puppy-mommy. No idea why it was happening, but minus vomiting and lethargy, it wasn’t concerning the vet much at all. He recommended some treatments, but said she seemed to be doing ok. Still concerned over the potential diseases it might-maybe-possibly could perhaps have been a sign of, I walked out of there with antibiotics, a precautionary blood test, and subcutaneous fluids for my dehydrated little lady. The cost was like a slap in the face, but seriously, what else could I have done? It would have been the worst thing in the world to find out that something worse was going on and I didn’t do anything to figure it out.

 Crisis averted, thank God, but there was still the mess on Lex’s badunkadunk and the horror scene in my bathroom to take care of. After grabbing a mop from Todd’s place, we made a game plan.

Phase 1: Wipe as much mess off the floor with paper towels. I wiped, Todd held the trashbag open. Old clothes and nose protection are required for this phase.

During Phase 1, Lexie sat in her crate, looking as remorseful as a puppy can look.

Phase 2: Mop the floor once initial mess has been wiped up. Nose protection is no longer needed.

I try to be a cheerful poopy-cleaner-upper. Yeah, that’s some hotness right there.

Phase 3: Bath the little lady. Usually a bath just involves Lexie in the tub and me kneeling beside the tub, but this mess called for a full-on shower. Clad in a super cool one-piece bathing suit I dug out of my drawer, I joined Lex in the shower, scrubbing her from head to poopy tail. She came out smelling like roses (or dog shampoo), and apparently the whole deal just wore her out. After running about like a crazy woman, which is typical after a bath, she flopped onto the couch in exhaustion. Poor puppy, and poor puppy parents! It was a night I would soon like to forget, but I’d do it all over again to make sure my little girl is ok.

Phase 4: EAT!

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0 thoughts on “It’s not really thaaat uncommon for dogs to poop blood.

  1. Jared R

    Poor Lexie! Glad she is ok. Ask me sometime about when our lab was a puppy. She had an accident in her crate; ate it (which is nasty to begin with) and then threw it up… Wasn’t prepared for that at 3am, and let me tell you, that smell will reach up and slap you across the face!

    Reply
    1. Lifestill Photography

      Oh man! I will never understand the whole concept of dogs eating that kind of thing. Lexie actually has never done that (knock on wood). And yeah, bathroom messes are bad, but crate messes might be even worse. I had to clean up a really rough one of those about a year ago, and hoo boy…that was a stinky one too!

      Reply
  2. Once_a_King

    A word about etymology, if I may:

    Someone, somewhere first used the word badunkadunk. Probably just horsing around. But whoever heard it thought it was really cool and started using it too. So then their social circle started using it but it reached some kind of tipping point and broke out into mainstream society. So now we all know what it means. Who was that first person? — and how come they didn’t get rich for doing something that effected society so profoundly?

    This discussion reminds me of the first time Todd visited Malabar with Wendy. At Bizarro’s over pizza Wendy and I spontaneously broke into a serious, profound, partly humorous, but altogther engaging conversation about punctuation and, I believe, spelling. Sheesh! English majors!

    And I probably started riding my favorite hobby horse to the effect that in popular writing it is very important *to* regularly split infinitives {see it?} because that is how people talk and to do otherwise would sound stilted. And ditto about ending sentences with a preposition, if you know where I am coming from. {again?}

    The Lion of England Sir Winston Churchill once mocked the purists’ insistence on these rules by saying —

    “This is the kind of thing up with which I will not put!”

    And it is worth noting that if there had been no Winston Churchill we would all be speaking German — but that is a tale for some other post — maybe next time about Lexie throwing up, or something.

    Reply

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